In this section, Strunk says, “Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all his sentences short, or that he avoid all detail and treat his subjects only in outline, but that he make every word tell.”
Common Phrases
Strunk offers suggestions for omitting words in common phrases. A phrase is followed by it's concise replacement:
the question as to whether → whether (the question whether)
there is no doubt but that → no doubt (doubtless)
he is a man who → he
in a hasty manner → hastily
this is a subject which → this subject
His story is a strange one. → His story is strange.
He suggests that, “the expression the fact that should be revised out of every sentence in which it occurs,” and gives examples:
owing to the fact that → since (because)
in spite of the fact that → though (although)
call your attention to the fact that → remind you (notify you)
I was unaware of the fact that → I was unaware that (did not know)
the fact that I had arrived → my arrival
Strunk also suggests that stock phrases like Who is and which was, “are often superfluous.”
His brother, who is a member of the same firm → His brother, a member of the same firm
Trafalgar, which was Nelson's last battle → Trafalgar, Nelson's last battle
Single Ideas
the question as to whether → whether (the question whether)
there is no doubt but that → no doubt (doubtless)
he is a man who → he
in a hasty manner → hastily
this is a subject which → this subject
His story is a strange one. → His story is strange.
He suggests that, “the expression the fact that should be revised out of every sentence in which it occurs,” and gives examples:
owing to the fact that → since (because)
in spite of the fact that → though (although)
call your attention to the fact that → remind you (notify you)
I was unaware of the fact that → I was unaware that (did not know)
the fact that I had arrived → my arrival
Strunk also suggests that stock phrases like Who is and which was, “are often superfluous.”
His brother, who is a member of the same firm → His brother, a member of the same firm
Trafalgar, which was Nelson's last battle → Trafalgar, Nelson's last battle
Single Ideas
Regarding a passage or paragraph, Strunk says, “A common violation of conciseness is the presentation of a single complex idea, step by step, in a series of sentences or independent clauses which might to advantage be combined into one.” The example below shows how half the words can communicate the same idea without losing meaning:
Macbeth was very ambitious. This led him to wish to become king of Scotland. The witches told him that this wish of his would come true. The king of Scotland at this time was Duncan. Encouraged by his wife, Macbeth murdered Duncan. He was thus enabled to succeed Duncan as king. (51 words.)
Encouraged by his wife, Macbeth achieved his ambition and realized the prediction of the witches by murdering Duncan and becoming king of Scotland in his place. (26 words.)
Fewer Words = Better Writing
Macbeth was very ambitious. This led him to wish to become king of Scotland. The witches told him that this wish of his would come true. The king of Scotland at this time was Duncan. Encouraged by his wife, Macbeth murdered Duncan. He was thus enabled to succeed Duncan as king. (51 words.)
Encouraged by his wife, Macbeth achieved his ambition and realized the prediction of the witches by murdering Duncan and becoming king of Scotland in his place. (26 words.)
Fewer Words = Better Writing
According to Strunk, omitting words makes your writing tighter, more concise and easier to read. Try omitting words and making every word count. To help you identify fillers and ‘crutches', these sites offer lists of omittable words:
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