Stay Active! (echewing the passive voice)

We’ve previously looked at advice from William Strunk Jr.’s Elements of Style. In this post, we review Section 10 in which he advises writers to Use the active voice.

More Direct, More Vigorous
Strunk’s first reason to write actively is that, “The active voice is usually more direct and vigorous than the passive.” Compare the following:

    I shall always remember my first visit to Boston.

   My first visit to Boston will always be remembered by me.

The first sentence is much better and more direct while the second which is less direct, less bold, and less concise. Removing "by me" makes the second sentence more concise -

    My first visit to Boston will always be remembered,

- but the action is less defined. Is the writer, some person undisclosed or the world remembering this visit? It isn’t clear.

Lively and Emphatic Writing
According to Strunk, “The habitual use of the active voice makes for forcible writing. This is true not only in narrative principally concerned with action, but in writing of any kind. Many a tame sentence of description or exposition can be made lively and emphatic by substituting a verb in the active voice for some such perfunctory expression as ‘there is’, or ‘could be heard’.”

    There were a great number of dead leaves lying on the ground.

    Dead leaves covered the ground.

    The sound of a guitar somewhere in the house could be heard.

    Somewhere in the house a guitar hummed sleepily.

Taking Away a Verb’s Function
In the following examples, the noun expresses the entire action. The verb then has no other job except to complete the sentence.

    A survey of this region was made in 1900.

    This region was surveyed in 1900.

A Passive Dependent on Another Passive
Strunk warns against making one passive verb dependent on another passive verb:

    Gold was not allowed to be exported.

    It was forbidden to export gold (The export of gold was prohibited).
 
Before the correction, the word that is related to the second passive verb is the subject of the first.

Don’t Abandon it Completely
However, Strunk does not advise writers to eliminate the passive voice completely. Using it is convenient and sometimes necessary, as these examples show:

    The dramatists of the Restoration are little esteemed to-day.

    Modern readers have little esteem for the dramatists of the Restoration.

The first sentence focuses on the dramatists of the Restoration while the second focuses on the tastes of modern readers. In these examples the subject of the sentence determines which voice is used.

Keep it Active
Taking Strunk’s advice, we should always try to use the active voice over the passive voice whenever possible.

Focus on the Unit (one paragraph per topic)

We’ve already reviewed a couple of pieces of advice from William Strunk Jr.’s Elements of Style, Section 13: Omit needless words and Section 12: Use definite, specific, concrete language.

This month we explore Section 8 of Elements, where Strunk Jr. advises writers to Make the paragraph the unit of composition: one paragraph to each topic.

When exploring a subject, it is helpful to subdivide it into topics. Each of these topics should be a unique paragraph. Sometimes, these subdivisions can be divided further. The root of the idea is that each paragraph should contain one topic or idea. When that topic or subtopic has been explored, a new paragraph begins.

As Strunk says, “Ordinarily...a subject requires subdivision into topics, each of which should be made the subject of a paragraph...to aid the reader. The beginning of each paragraph is a signal to him [or her] that a new step in the development of the subject has been reached.”

Strunk gives two additional rules:

• Single Sentences - As a rule, single sentences should not be paragraphs. Exceptions can be made for transition sentences or in writing such as, “textbooks, guidebooks, and other works in which many topics are treated briefly.”
• Dialogue - When writing dialogue, each ‘spoken’ part should form its own paragraph and new paragraphs begin with each new speaker, even if there is only one word.

As you write, keep this idea in mind and try to limit each paragraph to a topic or some subdivision of topic. Happy writing!

Thoughts on Becoming a Freelancer

'Power of Words' photo by Antonio Litterio; Wikimedia

I've been writing and getting paid for it for over 5 years. At first it was part time. But after doing it for a few years, I landed a full time gig with a local real estate agency where I manage content and social media.

Recently, I cut back from my day job because I've got lots of freelance work to do again, bringing me full circle. My hope is to eventually work myself out of my day job.

When I was still ramping up a couple of years ago, I wrote the following post on HubPages entitled My journey to freelancing. In it, I offer advice for someone who's thinking about trying their hand at freelancing or who may have started, but is feeling discouraged.

"I started writing for money about two and a half years ago. At the time I was a stay-at-home dad with one child in kindergarten and another in preschool. But I also had time on my hands. I have known since I was young that I am a decent writer, so I wondered if I could get paid to do it." READ MORE.

Perfection or Progress?

Throes of Creation by By Leonid Pasternak

“We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master.” — Ernest Hemingway

I don’t believe the phrase, ‘Practice makes perfect.’ My wife has a more accurate phrase that rings truer of my 41 years of observation and experience: “Practice makes progress.”

I don’t know if she made it up or heard it somewhere else, but I like it. The idea is to do something to the best of your ability, consistently, over and over and over. By doing this, you get better.

Write Every Day
Ray Bradbury encourages writers to, “write every day of your life.” He also adds that a writer should be a habitual reader as well. As a writer, you must write and write and write and write. And then write some more. By repetition, as long as we don’t repeat the same mistakes, we improve. I might write something that’s awful or something that I hate, but at least I am engaged in the writing process.

“One thing that helps is to give myself permission to write badly. I tell myself that I’m going to do my five or 10 pages no matter what, and that I can always tear them up the following morning if I want. I’ll have lost nothing—writing and tearing up five pages would leave me no further behind than if I took the day off.” —Lawrence Block

Never Perfection BUT Always Progress
No article, story or book will ever be 100% perfect. After my writing gets published, I always re-read it. Every time, I see things I could have done differently. That’s not to say that what I write is riddled with mistakes. But there are always tweaks to be made - better word choices, fewer adverbs or saying things more concisely.

As is the case with anything you do, improvement is incremental. There are no shortcuts. Sometimes it comes easily. Sometimes I fight and claw for it. But every time I write, I improve. Even as I make mistakes (and recognize them as such), I get better. Even if I write badly, at least I’m writing and hopefully improving.

Reading and Writing

Girl Reading (1889), by Fritz von Uhde; Wikimedia Commons

Successful writers are frequently voracious readers. Here are some words from great writers encouraging all writers to be readers.

“Writing comes from reading, and reading is the finest teacher of how to write.” ― Annie Proulx

“The greatest part of a writer’s time is spent in reading, in order to write; a man will turn over half a library to make one book.” — Samuel Johnson

“Write. Rewrite. When not writing or rewriting, read. I know of no shortcuts.” — Larry L. King

“Just write every day of your life. Read intensely. Then see what happens. Most of my friends who are put on that diet have very pleasant careers.” — Ray Bradbury

“Read, read, read. Read everything -- trash, classics, good and bad, and see how they do it. Just like a carpenter who works as an apprentice and studies the master. Read! You'll absorb it. Then write. If it's good, you'll find out. If it's not, throw it out of the window.” ― William Faulkner

The Death of an Idea

"You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.” ― Jack London

I constantly chase the inspiration that London speaks of. It gives birth to ideas or varying quality. Some of my ideas don’t make it past my steadily decreasing short term memory. The ones that stick around long enough go onto one of my lists of ideas.

I’ve got book ideas, ideas for first lines, ideas for opening scenes, character ideas and ideas for titles. I also have a fair number of nonfiction article ideas and memoir-type story ideas that have good beginnings, but may never see the light of day. In reality, the number of my ideas that grow into a formed pieces of writing is small.

The ones that I do fully apprehend are nurtured and cared for until they eventually grow up and have a life of their own. They might not necessarily be the cream of the crop, but for better or worse, they are survivors that deserve whatever life they have.

Immature Ideas
However, there are a host of perfectly good ideas that never reach maturity. Typically with these, one of three things happens:

1. I murder the idea promptly and expediently
2. The idea dies a slow death, wasting away until it vanishes
3. It hibernates for years until I decide to wake it and feed it

When I murder an idea, it is usually inferior and never would amount to much anyway. Alternatively, the idea could be too grand for my talent and ability. In this case, I kill it before it can embarrass me.

When an idea dies a slow death, it probably wasn’t very good to start with and probably should have been murdered.

Survivors
However, on occasion, an idea hangs on for dear life, waiting to be revived months or even years later. When I rediscover it and put some meat on its bones, it may turn out to be worth my time. Or I may go back to step one and murder it.

I leave you with this parting shot from Linus Pauling who said, “The way to get good ideas is to get lots of ideas, and throw the bad ones away.”