Be Specific (Concrete, definite language)

Last month, we looked at Section 13 of William Strunk Jr.’s Elements of Style, where he outlines the benefits of omitting words to make writing more concise. This month we look at Section 12 of Elements, in which Strunk advises writers to Use definite, specific, concrete language.

To quote Strunk, writers should prefer, “the specific to the general, the definite to the vague, the concrete to the abstract.” To illustrate his point, he gives the following sample phrases then his suggested changes. Notice how using more specific language also simplifies each sentence:

A period of unfavorable weather set in. → It rained every day for a week.

He showed satisfaction as he took possession of his well-earned reward. → He grinned as he pocketed the coin.

There is a general agreement among those who have enjoyed the experience that surf-riding is productive of great exhilaration. → All who have tried surf-riding agree that it is most exhilarating.

Keeping the Reader's Attention
According to Strunk, the best way of getting and keeping a reader’s attention is by being specific, and definite. He states that a good writer applies concrete language to transport the reader into the story. Strunk gives the example of Robert Carlyle, author of The French Revolution: A History.

“...if in reading Carlyle we have almost the sense of being physically present at the taking of the Bastille, it is because of the definiteness of the details and the concreteness of the terms used. It is not that every detail is given; that would be impossible, as well as to no purpose; but that all the significant details are given, and not vaguely, but with such definiteness that the reader, in imagination, can project himself into the scene.”

Translating Ideas into Images
Herbert Spencer, a Victorian era English philosopher, social theorist was also a strong supporter of concrete language and simplified writing. He argued in his work The Philosophy of Style that a writer should make meanings as easily accessible for the most efficient communication. Strunk quotes Spencer in The Elements of Style as he speaks about words and their relationship to mental images:

"This superiority of specific expressions is clearly due to the effort required to translate words into thoughts. As we do not think in generals, but in particulars--as whenever any class of things is referred to, we represent it to ourselves by calling to mind individual members of it, it follows that when an abstract word is used, the hearer or reader has to choose, from his stock of images, one or more by which he may figure to himself the genus mentioned. In doing this, some delay must arise, some force be expended; and if by employing a specific term an appropriate image can be at once suggested, an economy is achieved, and a more vivid impression produced."

Spencer illustrates how specific expression helps readers choose images with these two sentences, the first more general and the second more specific:

In proportion as the manners, customs, and amusements of a nation are cruel and barbarous, the regulations of their penal code will be severe.

In proportion as men delight in battles, bullfights, and combats of gladiators, will they punish by hanging, burning, and the rack.

Taking the Experts' Advice
The next time you sit down to write, take Strunk and Spencer’s advice and choose:

• Specific over general
• Definite over vague
• Concrete over abstract

Then read what you’ve written and see how it sounds. Happy writing!

BONUS: For another good resource, check out this paper from San Jose State University on Concrete Language for even more info and examples.